How I Got Started: Part Two

by Mortuary Transport Expert ~ April 22nd, 2008. Filed under: Body Business, Getting Started, Removal Stories.

On Call All The Time

While I took it for granted that 24/7 on call was actually twenty four hours a day seven days a week, I noticed a lot of people wanting to do this kind of work hoping to have something on the side called a “life”.

It is a unique occupation, with it’s competiveness, doing anything in the mortuary business, besides just removals. That means you can lose a customer at a moments notice if you don’t come through every time all the time.

When I was just a driver, I made sure I was within 10 minutes of being ready to go out the door, but I was on call from home with a company van. Some removal services have their drivers come in for shifts, but there has to be at least 5-10 calls per driver to make enough to pay for so little time and pay for a dispatch location.

When I was a manager and a business owner, I wanted my drivers to have as much of their own time to themselves as possible, so I preferred hiring people I could trust with my equipment at their home. They needed to live in a safe neighborhood, have free parking (a hard thing to do in San Francisco) and be ready and dressed to leave within 20-30 minutes, allowing 30-40 minutes for arrival within a 25 mile radius.

Arrival times are traditionally within an hour unless stated otherwise, so everywhere you go, you should know. I had the advantage of being a UPS driver for over 10 years, so I was used to finding addresses, dealing with people in a commercial and residential setting and learning the methods to be as efficient as possible with every location.

Have Your Information Ready

I developed data bases of all the funeral homes within 100 miles, all the hospitals in my local and surrounding counties and then added to my list all the convelescent homes I could find online to have correct addresses and phone numbers. It made a big difference for some of my customers, especially when I started on my own to have the address, phone number and access point already in my possession.

When I got a call, they just had to give me a name and the facility, and maybe the room number or building info if applicable and I knew exactly where to go everytime. With being able to remember streets, routes and how to get into places, I could then direct my drivers with almost pinpoint precision where and how to go, and they would always look good, which made my business look good, which made the funeral director look good.

Now on the other hand, if a driver made a bone headed mistake, perhaps because they partied too much on their off days and weren’t fully clear in time for their shift, their mistake reflected on me and my hiring ability as well as the wisdom of the funeral home that was using me, so it was a two sided coin.

A Bad Housecall

There’s the coffee cup story that I told a few times. This driver was someone who was pretty good at everything, just couldn’t pull it together everytime. He went up to a housecall at 10AM on a Saturday morning with his Starbucks in his hand, spoke to the widow at the door while he was waiting for his partner to show, had her hold his coffee so he could fill out the paperwork.

It turned out that his suit was wrinkled, his shoes were dirty, his fingernails were dirty, and it went down hill from there. The lady I had come help him was at her first official housecall, as I’d spent some time training her with an empty stretcher so she understood so basic housecall procedures.

He had more experience than me, and he knew I expected him to discreetly talk her through the particulars of this housecall. With our housecalls, the driver was the one to do all the talking, so all she needed to do was say hello then let him do all the talking.

Well I guess she wasn’t much better, she was in black slacks and a white shirt, but unfortunately the white shirt was an all cotton blouse that was badly wrinkled also. She didn’t score too well either. I was later able to work with her personally to improve her skills and help her with professional appearance, but it made a difference having Rescue Randy.

I got a call from the funeral director Monday about this house call, and of course after he related what happened, I didn’t charge for it. I had to pay my employees, since they did the job, just not in the best possible way. This funeral director directly challenged my ability to hire good people, said I should hire people who had done at least 100 house calls before using them on his calls. Yes, I know that was a little unreasonable, but he had a point.

Don’t Let Them See You Sweat

The appearance, demeanor, attitude and skill should be just as if they’ve done it 100 times. You don’t dare admit it’s your first or second time, and you don’t dare act as if you’re unsure of what you’re doing. The advice I got when I started was “fake ’til you make it”. You can practice practice practice until it’s second nature. It’s not rocket science, I mean, even I was able to do it, with no college degree. I’ll make my materials and templates available sometime soon to keep track of everything. I still would recommend a website to use as your online calling card, refer people to it and have your prices available. There’s no sense keeping your prices secret, since your service has to be better to stay in business anyway, so let the world know. I had someone in Alaska find me online to do an airport transport from Oakland to Santa Rosa, and they paid me on the spot at the cemetery in Santa Rosa for an hour and a half drive through beautiful Marin and Sonoma counties. I got there on time, they were happy, and I got paid to drive a late model minivan. You gotta love it.

How I Got Started: Part Three

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